Wanna Be Better

It’s funny how when my son’s awake I can think of a million things to do when he’s asleep. However, when he’s asleep I’m suddenly bored out of my mind.. is it that or do I just not know what to do first? I washed the dishes just now and have tidied the kitchen. I had my early dinner while checking out my facebook account - very addictive. Now I’m thinking, I should do some revision for the upcoming PTK exams (for government servants to be promoted). But I just feel a bit distracted. Firstly, the noise of the construction below our apartment is a tad deafening. Secondly, it’s late in the evening, a perfect moment for a stroll in the park. But I am home with a sleeping son and hubby’s at work.

But some time alone is good. I need to do alot of thinking. Need to use up more brain cells. I’ve been forgetting keys and other important stuff the past few days. So not me. Just distracted I guess. I admire people who are always on the go and ever so high spirited. I’ve reached some sort of wall and am finding it requires all my strength to climb through.

These days I feel I have alot of bitter medicine to swallow. Medicine that I’m not so sure will do me much good. Still I swallow it hole and feel myself aching even more. No, I’m not complaining. Life’s throwing me a curve ball and I’m taking it good. God won’t test you with anything you can’t take. He loves you for sure.

At work and at home, things sure could be better. I long for brighter days..

I’m sorry if this is not a ’success’ post. Yes, my dotcom site is meant to be some sort of success journal. But the journey to success is often not a straight path without obstacles. It’s how we manage to overcome barriers that makes us a stronger and more resilient person.

I sometimes wish I could really talk to someone who is unbiased. Someone who’d just listen with understanding. Sometimes I think I’ve found that person but after a few thoughts I often change my mind. When I was studying in one exclusive boarding school - back in those young old days, I used to surrender myself to counseling sessions. Why, because it felt good to talk to someone who wasn’t your age (teenage) but still understood what you were going through.

These days, as adults we have reservations. Counseling sessions are thought to only be for those who are problematic. You don’t want to be labeled as such so you avoid any sessions. Maybe, that’s one reason why I want to expand my knowledge in the field of psychology. To better understand myself as well as others and how we respond to situations as well as how to make things better.

Better, better, better. I want to be a better person today than I was yesterday and an even better person tomorrow.

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2 Responses to “Wanna Be Better”

  1. I am happy you are back.

    Thought you had decided to call blogging quits.

    Welcome back. The clouds will soon be blown away, so no worries.

    And like you mentioned, the Quran says, No one will be given a burden that he can’t bear. And it says it more than once I think.

  2. Not calling quits yet! I’ve met many great people here in the blogosphere. It’s people like you who make blogging a blast! My love to everyone :)

    Thanks fathersez. My days are brighter already!

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